Day 85: The Law of Least Effort

Nature's intelligence functions with effortless ease...

with carefreeness, harmony and love.

And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy and love ,

we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.

- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

I fell away from writing and keeping track because I have felt like my efforts have failed.  My Quantum Leap has been anything but and I have been frustrated (and rather grumpy about it) for quite some time.  I simply didn't know what to do about it.  I felt like the harder I tried the worse things seem to get and I figured, "Hell, why bother trying if it will only get worse."

I went to the trusty Public Library for an iced coffee and hopefully a copy of the book "The E-Myth Revisited".  It was recommended to me by a friend who is doing quite well on the financial and investment fronts.  As usual, what I thought  I was looking for turned out not to be what I apparently needed.  Instead, right there in the middle of the business section was this conspicuously out-of-place little book by Deepak Chopra (whom I loooooove).  It is a small book with 7 short chapters.  And possibly the most pivotal book I've read in years, rivaled only by Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav which helped to bring me up from post-partum depression and grief from the mess of a life I found myself in at the time.

Basically the gist of what I've been doing wrong is simply this....I've been trying too damn hard.  I come from a frame of mind that obstacles need to be punched through, torn down, cursed at and stomped on.  I am absolutely guilty of walking into a situation with a pre-conceived, worst case scenario already in place in my head, bracing myself for disaster and disappointment. 

On page 41 of the book he states:

Most of us, as a result of conditioning, have repetitious and predictable responses to the stimuli in our environment.  Our reactions seem to be automatically triggered by people and circumstances, and we forget that these are still choices that we are making in every moment of out existence.  We are simply making these choices unconsciously.

My natural reaction is that life has to be struggled through.  That's what I've lived from the moment of my birth to the very act of getting out of bed this morning.  I came into this world pre-mature, a C-section damn near by flashlight thanks to a Somerset blizzard, and spent many days and nights in the hospital with jaundice, infections, insanely high fevers, etc.  As a family we've been broke, screamed at, smacked, teased, belittled at home and at school.  I was painfully shy and paralyzingly self-conscious so social situations always have a stain of panic and paranoia for me.  At one point in time, and I know I've mentioned this before, my family was technically homeless for a month and a half the summer of my Junior year of high school.  My knee-jerk reaction to everyday life has always been, even in the best of times, "What's going to go wrong next?"  So I psych myself up, go balls to the wall and try to POUND my Intentions out of the Universe.  I can hear Dr. Phil now...."How's that workin' for ya?"

It's not.  Clearly, it's not.

Since the weight loss challenge began I have gained 11 lbs, lost 7 of it in one week only to gain 6 again the next week.  Not only did I not get a job but my child support 'went away' as well and shows no sign of returning.  I've had to come to terms with the fact that a few of my relationships that I've been holding onto are not what I was hoping they would be.  That was hard.  Harder than a lot of other realizations and I have been experiencing a certain sense of grieving over the loss, not of a friend, but of my projected ideals. 

So what's a girl to do?  According to what I read, there are 3 things:

1) Acceptance.  Acceptance of people, places, events and situations as they occur, without judgement of whether anything is 'good or bad' because the hand that moves the world pulls the switches in exactly the right order according to the decisions we've made in the past.  This moment is the culmination of all those other moments and we got here exactly the way we needed to get here according to the choices we've made.  "When you struggle against this moment, you're actually struggling against the entire universe." (p. 57)

Not only am I getting upset about a chain of events that I have played a part in putting in motion, but I am reacting to my feelings toward the situation.  Deepak says, "These are your feelings and your feelings not someone else's fault."  Damn, that means I gotten deal with this shit myself! lol

2)Responsibility.  You can't blame anyone else for your situation, including yourself.  Those things we call problems are not growling monsters under the bed, they are simply a set of circumstances and within all of those problems are the seeds of opportunity.  It is never too late to take a situation and turn it into something much more beneficial to the life you want.  I LOVE what he says on page 59. 

"Reality is an interpretation."

3)Defenselessness.  That's the hardest of the 3 for me because my reaction is a constant state of being ready to defend....myself, my opinions, my ideas, my possessions, my son.  Relinquishing the need to defend your point of view simply frees up mental and emotional energy.  It's like unplugging the TV for a week and realizing how much more time you have to get things accomplished.  I'll be honest, I'm going to have to take Deepak's word on this one because I am still in a finger-pointing, cussing and fussing kinda place.  I am getting better at reminding myself not to judge the people or situation, I tell myself to breath and be at peace but the pin-ball machine in my brain will still get the better of me.  But I will continue to work on it.

There are a lot of other things in the book.  Lots of good things in such a small package, who knew?  As I glanced through the recommended reading in the back of the book I noticed one about a whole body approach to insomnia.  Yeah, I'll be reading that one next!  I will make an effort to make less of an effort.  If that actually works I'll simply be floored. 

Sara Smile